The arrival of a new baby can spark a whirlwind of emotions in an older sibling — excitement, curiosity, confusion, and sometimes even jealousy. These feelings are a normal part of adjusting to a major family change. As parents, understanding your child’s emotions and guiding them through this transition with empathy can help create a loving, supportive environment where both siblings thrive.
Encourage Emotional Regulation
One of the most effective ways to address new baby jealousy is to help your older child develop emotional regulation skills. Encourage them to openly share their feelings without fear of judgment. Use children’s books about becoming a big sibling, role-play, or drawing activities to help them express and process emotions. Let them know it’s okay to feel happy, sad, or frustrated — these are all normal reactions to change.
Resource: Zero to Three – Supporting Your Child’s Emotional Development
Foster a Special Bond Between Siblings
Involving your older child in baby care can help reduce feelings of exclusion. Simple tasks like choosing the baby’s outfit, singing a lullaby, or gently holding the baby (under supervision) can make them feel important and connected. This shared involvement fosters a sense of pride and builds the foundation for a strong sibling bond.
Tip: When using a video baby monitor, invite your older child to watch with you so they can see and “help” keep an eye on their new sibling.
Ensure Consistent Quality Time
Even with the demands of a newborn, carve out dedicated one-on-one moments with your older child. Whether it’s a 15-minute backyard picnic, bedtime story, or baking cookies together, these moments reassure them that they are still a priority. Quality is more important than quantity — even short bursts of focused attention make a big difference.
Acknowledge and Validate Their Feelings
When your child expresses jealousy, sadness, or frustration, acknowledge those feelings without dismissing them. Use phrases like, “I understand you miss our time together,” or “It’s okay to feel upset.” Validation helps them feel heard and secure, which is key to managing sibling rivalry.
Promote Their Role as the Older Sibling
Frame being the older sibling as a special and important role. Talk about the unique privileges that come with it — staying up a bit later, having special activities with mom or dad, or teaching the baby new things as they grow. This shift in perspective can replace jealousy with pride and responsibility.
Prepare Them Before the Baby Arrives
Preparation is essential in preventing overwhelming feelings once the baby is home. Read age-appropriate books about becoming a big brother or sister, explain what changes to expect, and talk about the new baby’s needs. Involving your child in setting up the nursery or picking a gift for the baby can make them feel included and excited.
Keep Routines Consistent
As much as possible, maintain your older child’s existing routines — bedtime rituals, mealtimes, and after-school activities. Familiar patterns give them a sense of stability, even when the family dynamic is shifting. While some changes are inevitable, anchoring them in routine helps minimize stress and new baby jealousy.
Show Appreciation for Their Help
When your child helps out, no matter how small the task, express your gratitude. Thank them for handing you a diaper, playing quietly while the baby sleeps, or being gentle during playtime. Acknowledging their contributions reinforces their value in the family and encourages more positive interactions with the baby.
Reassure Them of Your Love
Regularly remind your older child that your love for them has not changed. Create special traditions — a unique goodnight hug, a secret handshake, or a “just us” weekend activity. These rituals offer security and reinforce their place in your heart.
Seek Professional Help if Needed
If jealousy turns into ongoing resentment, behavioral changes, or anxiety, consider speaking with a child therapist or counselor. Professional guidance can help your child navigate their emotions in a healthy way. Remember, seeking help is not a sign of failure — it’s a step toward ensuring your child’s emotional well-being.
Helpful parenting resources: Scary Mommy | Imperfect Families | Janet Lansbury | Big Little Feelings Sibling Rivalry Tips
Final Takeaway
New baby jealousy is a common, natural response for older siblings. With patience, empathy, and consistent reassurance, you can help your child transition smoothly into their new role. By fostering inclusion, maintaining routines, and providing love and support, you’re laying the foundation for a lifelong, loving sibling relationship.
For more tips on navigating family transitions, visit our parenting advice blog and explore our monitor collection to help keep both your newborn and older child safe and happy.
